RIP Paps (Feb 1921 – Oct 2010)

 
This is my eulogy from pap's memorial today...Special thanks to my friends who came to the service and to all of our family/friends who have been keeping us in your prayers. It was a rough day, but I made it!
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Although I’m thankful paps is no longer stuck in a hospital bed and i find comfort in the thought that he has left the physical world to rest in peace in heaven, I am sad beyond words and devastated that I’ve lost one of my heroes - a man who was much more than a grandpa to me. how do i condense a lifetime of cherished memories into a few simple thoughts to share? It isn’t possible, but here goes.

My birthday is one day before paps. Every year we’d call each other and exchange birthday wishes and he would always remind me that I was one of his best birthday gifts.

I’ve been told that I attended my first rock show when I was just a few months old. paps put me in my pumpkin seat up on the table with a sign that read most precious gem at the show. from that day on, he taught me the business. I remember sitting in the back yard and folding boxes for hours - afterall, he paid me a penny a box so it would take hours to earn my dairy queen blizzard. Every summer I would go with them to as many shows as I was allowed. He would have me track my individual sales and would give me 10% of each one...I remember getting so excited when someone would be interested in one of his inlay hummingbirds - a $59 sale meant $5.90, which was a lot of spending money for a kid...but it always seemed that for sales over $20...at the last minute - he’d swoop in and complete the sale.

Unless he was taking his daily nap, it was strange to see paps not working on something. Even while he watched tv, he was always braiding leather bolo cords, pairing tumbles stones for earrings, or mixing apoxy for caps...I think that is where I get my industriousness. In general, he taught me a lot about business and life - how to make sales, talk to anyone, count change the correct way, to always say thank you and have a nice day...and most importantly, how you could make a wonderful life out of something that you are passionate about.

Paps inspired my desire to travel and see the world from an early age. I took my first airplane trip when I was 5 flying to Tucson to visit them by myself. I remember getting off the plane and running as fast as my little legs could go down the ramp into his awaiting bearhug. As an adult I continued to make many trips out west and each time that bearhug was waiting for me! we shared travel stories and both thought the peeing boy of Brussels was way overrated.

Marriage is probably one of my favorite memories of paps. I obviously don’t know much about the early years of his and grams marriage, but the things I do remember continue to help me build a stronger marriage each day. Paps never focused on the little stuff. He was a big picture kind of guy. Grams and I would go shopping for hours and he’d say - where the hell have you two been...but quickly move on. She’d hide her bags in our closet and take them downstairs when he went out to his rockshop...like he didn’t know...but he always did...and never said a word!

They bickered with the best of them but ended each day with a kiss and an I love you. He would look at her from across the room and just watch her. During my visits toward the end of her being able to live at home, she would go to bed and we would talk for hours about how much he loved her and how much we both hated Alzheimer's for robbing her of their best memories. He was a saint...caring for her until the last possible minute and continuing to do everything he could to make her comfortable at her new home - visiting as much as possible, celebrating her 29th birthday every year, sponsoring parties at the nursing home, sharing pictures over and over, simply loving her in sickness...just as he had done in health. I can’t count the number of pictures I have of him just looking at her...they didn’t even need to say the words, you could feel the immensity of their love for each other. It warms my heart to think of such selfless love and I know he is being rewarded in heaven for his undying devotion to grams. And one day, she will join him and they will live happily ever after.

I thanked him countless times for his example of true love and companionship and one of the last things we actually spoke about was marriage. He told me to always take special care of Dave and our marriage. He was so fond of Dave. In fact, when I first told him that he and Dave had the same middle name “Edwin” his response was that he must be the one. I'm so thankful that Dave got to know paps and visit Tucson with me.

I was so excited to tell him that we were expecting our first baby. When Dave and I called him to tell him, he was beyond thrilled and just wanted to know if it was a boy. I told him I was only about 6 weeks pregnant and that we weren’t going to find out...he said, you don’t need to...it is! And he was right as usual. When Dave announced that it was a boy in the delivery room - I knew that Edwin would soon take my place and be the recipient of much spoiling from paps. And at 6 months when I took Edwin to Tucson for his first visit, paps was waiting with that bearhug once again - this time for both of us! And, when we found out that we were expecting number 2...and that we’d keep it a secret until around 13 weeks...it was the hardest thing to not call him because I knew how happy he would be. When Dave announced that it was a girl in the delivery room - I knew Lyla Betty would once again fill paps heart with excitement. he was so touched that I named the kids after he and grams - but it seemed only fitting to me to have them both as namesakes. above all paps and grams were best friends and that is what I hope for our kids as they grow old together.

I took the kids to Tucson in August and thankfully the hospital allowed us some time to visit paps. He got to meet Lyla and talk to Edwin. He just watched Lyla and wanted to see her toes and thanked me for having a beautiful family. He hung pictures that Edwin drew him where he could see them everyday and told Edwin that he loved him so much and for him to take care of his sister and parents. Although Edwin is only 2, he speaks about Great Grandpa Ralph a lot. He knows that he lived in Arizona and remembers everything from our recent trip out west. Lyla won’t remember the trip - but I sure will and I can’t wait to share these stories, the countless others and the rock business with them just as he did with me.